Self-Love in the Time of Corona

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By Kika Pérez

One day the world suddenly stopped. Everything came to a screeching halt. But it wasn’t Earth’s rotation that paused. It was the people living on the planet who were suddenly forced to hide from one of the worst enemies they had ever faced: an invisible, ubiquitous and merciless crown-shaped invader who would take their air and their loved ones. 

That could well be the opening of an eerie documentary, narrating the tragic doomsday tale we are going through with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) global emergency.  Now, let’s ask ourselves how else we could spin this story, in a way where, without denying or dismissing the suffering and pain of so many, it could still show a glimpse of hope and an ending that sounded more like a new beginning. 

For our own safety, most of us are now indefinitely forced to stay at home, isolated and distanced. But what if this could be a “make lemonade” scenario where, at the impossibility of going outside, we instead, go inside. Somewhere between the impotence and despair, we might finally comes across that breakthrough we’ve been needing for so long.

How to find your self-love in the time of Coronavirus:

1. Start by being grateful.
You’ve heard this one before and it is so powerful and important. Those who start their day by saying thank you for everything they have, are happier and experience less negative emotions and anxiety.

Appreciate everything around you; the roof over your head, the comfortable couch you are laying on, the food in your fridge (or your tummy), the furry best friend who licks your feet while you read this. Even the phone in your hand is a powerful resource. If you are safe and healthy, acknowledge and cherish that you have what you need and that despite the chaos, you are okay.

2. Prioritize what’s important.
We’ve developed a character; a public version of ourselves. How we look, our demeanor and agenda has to do with our need to fit in and be admired by those around us. Being stuck at home in our pajama pants, with no makeup or gimmicks, sure puts everything in perspective, about how much of our existence revolves around appearance, image, and superficial values. But in times of need, we realize nothing else matters except each other.

Our addiction to money and things proves pointless when survival is key. No amount of power or fame can save us this time. This virus is teaching us an invaluable lesson in equality as it attacks everyone just the same, regardless of gender, race or social status. So let’s heed the warning and change our mindset by growing into a new perspective, where awareness, solidarity and empathy become our most valuable currency. 

3. Time is your best friend.
For those of us who are not needed for essential duties (Thank you, heroes), being at home is mandatory. But that doesn’t mean you must get bored and start moping around, eating potato chips while you obsessively watch every stressful Coronavirus update. Instead, take a shower, look for a quiet place and make a list of rewarding things you can do during this time, that will make your forced staycation a bit more tolerable and a lot more successful.

Think of those hobbies you never get to indulge in: read that book, listen to the new Pearl Jam album, become the amateur chef you always wanted to be, do a closet clean-up with your kids, and please make your wife happy by finally organizing that mess in the garage. She’s been begging you since 2012.

We’re always complaining that we never have enough time; Time to rest, time to spend with our families, time to just be. Well, guess what? Right now you get to save the world by doing nothing and time is what you have most of. 

4. Create a proper home office. 
Working from home has become the temporary norm. And it can definitely be a challenging scenario when you’re trying to concentrate, hold virtual meetings, take calls from colleagues and get things done in the middle of a dirty laundry castle, decorated with an explosion of Legos thrown in the air by tiny “co-workers” running around in nothing but their Batman capes.

So we must adapt and design the live-in office our work deserves. Choose a corner that is secluded, has ample light and a neutral background. Order a professional desk and chair to ensure you are as organized and comfortable as possible, which will exponentially increase your desire and performance. You’ll also stay focused by setting the right boundaries to separate your time at the “office” (guest room) from your time at “home” (a.k.a. your bed).

5. Give yourself permission to be human. 
 This is still a very frightening, unsettling and painful situation, as many are currently battling the virus or have lost a family member or friend. So before following our list of tips, or doing whatever else you think you’re supposed to accomplish right now, remember that taking care of yourself is the first step.

Experts in Positive Psychology agree that embracing the nature of our humanity is fundamental and necessary. Feeling confused, scared, disoriented and even a bit depressed is exactly what’s expected from us right now. No one is asking you to build a house, get a Master’s degree or discover the laws of gravity (Newton did but he didn’t have Netflix) during your quarantine. Instead, take a deep breath and take it one day at a time. Let your emotional intelligence guide you.

Do your best to stay active and involved but understand that your entire system has gone into survival mode and you might not be up for a virtual wine party every night or much of anything at all, except hiding under the covers and hoping for this thing to pass soon. So let’s be compassionate with ourselves and others, because we’ve been harshly reminded that love is always the most effective cure.